What if someone is hiding something from me? One of my parents hid money and secrets from the other parent. They were married. My parents were together for a long time and it ended as jaggedly as it is possible to end a relationship.
I got married. What if my partner hides something from me?
What if I find a box somewhere that has something terrifying inside?
What if I find out they never really loved me and I’m just a cover story?
What if I miss all the warning signs?
What if I am in denial?
What if I never write anything good again?
What if I am an awful person?
What if I take people for granted?
What if I feel guilty?
What if I never learn to let it go?
What if I itch off all my skin?
What if I am responsible?
What if I make a bad decision?
What if I buy something that’s too expensive?
What if I have a panic attack?
What if I’m the problem?
What if I never get better?
My narcissistic tendencies to blame myself for everything is just another way to cope with not being in control of what’s happening to me. Things are out of control. I don’t know what’s going to happen. People are allowed to deceive me and hurt me. I am not perfect and I do not have to be in order to live.
One of my parents was a narcissist. Someday, What If I will be free from their effects on me?